The Knowledge by Jack Rosenthal

The Knowledge not to be confused with Knowledge

The story charts the trials and tribulations of four men attempting to learn ‘The Knowledge’ and become London cabbies. Languid Chris (Mick Ford) is the youngest of the four and one of millions on the dole, Gordon (Michael Elphick) is a serial womanizer and has spent years working as a cowboy handyman, Ted Margolis (Jonathan Lynn) comes from a long line of cabbies and feels compelled to follow in his relatives footsteps, and lastly the elderly Walters (David Ryall), one of life’s losers nicknamed ‘Titanic’ who just wants to talk to people as an escape from his uncommunicative wife.."I Know how he feels" All four start their prospective careers by visiting the Metropolitan Police Public Carriage Office to meet their examiner, Mr. Burgess (Nigel Hawthorne), a man with a fearsome reputation and nickname of The Vampire.
Mr. Burgess explains that The Knowledge was laid down by the Hackney Carriage Act of 1843 and involves learning 468 runs within a six mile radius of Charing Cross; starting with Manor House Station to Gibson Square. Chris’ girlfriend Janet contributes to buying him a moped and initially is his driving force until she tires of the task’s intrusion into their private life. Gordon leaves behind an irate and frustrated wife (Maureen Lipman) and uses half of his time learning London’s road routes as an excuse to carry on an extra-marital affair. Margolis is the most confident of the quartet and is quickly pages ahead of his fellow Knowledge boys in memorizing the routes. Finally there is Titanic, who attempts to learn all the runs on a bicycle and farcically wobbles all around London in an effort to do so – frequently falling from his bike. At intervals they are called in to see Mr. Burgess for an appearance, which involves the learner attempting to detail one of the runs whilst Burgess endeavors to put them off with a series of diversions often involving throwing water, laughing loudly or putting Vicks nasal inhalers up his nose. Eventually, after twelve months or more, each learns whether he has failed or earned the prestigious green badge.

Gordon (Michael Elphick) is Kicked off the Knowledge while being tested by the vampire
Ted Margolis (Jonathan Lynn) passes of course with flying colours, but loses his licence the day he gets it after going on the razzle with the rest of the boys to celebrate passing, he gets done for driving under the influence
Chris (Mick Ford) and the Titanic pass also, the day the Titanic passes he leaves his wife, and tells the boys she begged him to come back, when truly it can be heard her Shouting”Piss off and don’t come back”