TITANIC STRUGGLE'S A LONDON CABBIE

Me Golden Bollocks...?

2009-07-30T13:04:00.003+01:00

My previous cab's registration ended GBX. Two mates Silverchris & Carl aka L.c. Reckon it stands for Golden Bollocks eXtraordinaire.
Well last Saturday night about 1.30am I was sitting down on the paddington rank a solitary cab. When all of a sudden another Vito pulled up behind me. I took the opportunity to get out and ask him had he any problems with his doors. to which he replied a few.
Anyway I saw these two guys approaching from behind his cab. looking for a cab I asked them where they were going and the reply was Bayswater Stn. I wasnt too pleased but didn't let them know that. anyway by the time I got back to my cab there was two other punters Standing there asking to go to Maidenhead. In the name of playing the game I took the Bayswater. Gutted about how close I had come to getting a lovely Job. with silverchris & Londoncabby's, Golden Bollox's comment still ringing in my ear's, I was thinking yeah Golden Bollock's my arse. Cant wait to ring them up. Anyway I was just about to drop off at Bayswater station. When a Job popped up on my terminal Ladbroke grove police station As Directed. I was in going home mode and if the destination is known it should show it. Still reeling from how close Id come to a nice job I decide to take a chance & accepted the job up popped on my screen destination HASTINGS.
All of a sudden my whole demeanor changed. The two punters got out and apologised for such a short journey that time of night. "No problem my friend" I assured them. Straight on the phone to L.c To hear the usual reply Golden Bollocks strikes again.
Anyway on arrival at Ladbroke Grove police station. I went into the Reception To find a German guy Three sheets to the wind. Sat opposite a police constable trying to Extract from him where he was going to. So far all he knew was it was Hastings. The copper said to me just take him to Hastings and drop him off. He had £15 on him but had a credit card which had already been authorised by my radio circuit. I asked him had he a phone number in Hastings and he pulled out a blackberry phone from his pocket. too pissed to even be able to take the lock off it . Luckily I have one too. and eventually found his address in Hastings. Anyway after a couple of hours we arrived at his address in Hastings He got out and I Glanced in the back to make sure he had all his belongings to which were few. And made my merry way home around the M25 the biggest dilemma I had was do I go clockwise Or Anti clockwise. I checked the sat-nav which said it was 9miles longer Clockwise, but Anticlockwise Id have to pay the Dartford crossing toll. So I decided Clockwise it was. Sounds on and cruised all the way home. Anyway next day I opened the cab up to give it a good clean out after a Saturday night Fun and Frollicks. There are little cubby holes in the back of these cabs, that some people like to use as bins. It was then I noticed a wallet in one. On closer inspection I found it was the German guy's. After a little detective work I manged to get the telephone Number in Hastings. and found a Sober but frantic German guy that had lost all his credit cards and passport id in his wallet. somewhat relieved by the phone call, He also asked had I found an overcoat and attache case. Which I told him He'd never had in my company. Anyway I sent it special delivery the next day and tracked it all the way.

Happy Easter

2009-04-13T01:41:00.003+01:00

Easter Sunday on rate 3 I love it. Also there didn't seem to be many cabs out there tonight. Most of them Either spending the day with their family's. Or travelling like some I know to see the love of their lives.

Anyway a Good night work wise. Picked up these four guys in Charlotte street, Wanting to go to the White house hotel in Albany street. They were most impressed by the cab and enquired if they could hire me for the day tomorrow and how much. I Gave them an hourly price they were more than happy with. And a business card to call me If they wanted me. Whether anything comes from it remains to be seen though.

Not long after dropping off at the White house I picked up this guy in Rathbone place that wanted Brixton. He got out by the station in Brixton. It was around about Midnight by this time so I was looking to get a Radio Job home. So I headed back towards Vauxhall bridge. As I was coming around the Vauxhall one-way System I was Hailed by this young couple who asked for a price to Staines. So I got the postcode off them to ascertain the mileage from the Sat-nav. Times that by three and Hey Presto your price as near as dam it. They were happy and so was I, because I knew as soon as I dropped that it was around the M25 and home. O'Happy Days

The trip around the M25 was a real pleasure in the Vito it cruises effortlessly. Also I am beginning to notice the saving I'm making in fuel costs. Yes its safe to say its growing on me.

So to wrap it all up Id like to wish everyone a Happy Easter.

Not the usual Saturday Night Diplomacy

2009-04-12T02:16:00.003+01:00

Saturdays nights driving a cab around the streets of London. Can often call for a bit of Diplomacy on behalf of the Cabbie. Humouring an aggressive drunk bending your ear with the biggest load of old crap that you re not even remotely interested in. "Yeah Yeah WoW thats Amazing, How cool is that". Agreeing with just about everything and anything with a Drunk Who's a Legend in his own mind.Is about as tedious as it Gets.

But what about when the Aggression comes from a stone cold sober. Officer of the diplomatic police force. Who's bending your ear about the biggest load of old crap you've ever heard of.
Well that's exactly what happened to me tonight. I picked up a fare in Fulham road by Bibendum's Two guys going to Nizomi's in Beauchamp place. I was chatting to Carlos at the time on my Hands free.
Who so happened to be coming down Beauchamp place in the opposite direction at the time.

As I was pulling up to drop off outside Nizomi's. I noticed a red Diplomatic police car behind me. So I made sure I pulled in tight to the kerb so he could pass without Hindrance. When I came to a halt I had the handbrake on within seconds and the doors open. All of a sudden the blue light came on with a quick burst of the siren. I thought he must of got an emergency call to answer.

But he pulled up alongside me blocking the road. And said to me what did I think I was up to. "Dropping off a fare" says I. "Well you shouldn't be stopping here" he says. "I'm doing my Job" I said. "Well you should stop somewhere else" "Like Where" He looks up and down the road and replies "Well you shouldn't stop here" I said " for a diplomatic Policeman your not being very Diplomatic". I think at that moment he realised How petty the whole thing was and he just drove off.

Carlos was able to see and hear everything And agreed How petty it all was.
Well it takes all sorts and with all the drunks about tonight. that was the only bit of trouble I had the whole night.
Anyway Be Lucky and Be Safe.

More of the Vito

2009-04-11T16:15:00.004+01:00

In the rear On both sides,,,,,This a cup Holder on the left And an Ashtray on Right.

In the rear both sides........... A twelve Volt power point for those Laptops/Mobile phones.

And In the front........................ The handbrake/Foot brake

The headlight switch on Top. Underneath that the switch to operate the rear steering. And below that the Handle you have to pull to release the Handbrake.

This is the rear Window fully Opened.

Using the Wheelchair ramp Part I

2009-04-11T15:46:00.000+01:00

Using the Wheelchair ramp part II

2009-04-11T14:03:00.008+01:00

Interior Photo's of my new Vito

2009-04-10T22:00:00.005+01:00

Not a very good photo. I will have to take again in daylight.
This was taken with the door open.

This second one shows the rear Three seats. The Interior is very similar to the Tx4

And the three tip seats.

Check out the leather drivers seat. Fitted as standard in the Vito.

And the cockpit. The little Button Right of the steering wheel Underneath the headlight switch. Is the one you have to press to operate the rear steer.

Vito 9 Day's Old. Am i Unique....?

2009-04-10T01:51:00.006+01:00

I left home at 7pm tonight. It can take me anywhere between 30/40 mins to get into an area where you stand any chance of trapping a fare. As Iv said before. I drive in on the M1 from Junction 5. Tonight I decided to try something different. I Turned off the Hendon way and went up through Hampstead. I was hailed by this Russian looking woman with two young children. outside Hampstead Tube. Now she wants to go to Highgate west hill. But would like to stop off at a toy store on the way. The nearest I could think of was at Brent Cross, Toys R us. But she said it was too far. And was there not one in Highgate. No I'm afraid there isn't. Under my breath saying if you hang around long enough they might build one for you.

Anyway after dropping off in Highgate. I drove down through kentish town. Across into Camden. Up The top of Delancey Street Via Jamestown rd and Arlington rd. Down Albany st. Across into Great Portland st. Oxford circus, Berkeley Sq, Hamilton place.
The Hilton Was full with cabs including both feed ranks.... South carriage drive I get flashing headlights from a colleague driving in the opposite direction. Toes up there's Pc plod stood with his Speed gun pointed at me doing 20mph. Anyway down Exhibition rd And finally onto the South Kensington rank. 15mins later and a good hour after dropping my last fare. I get off to Prince of Wales drive in Battersea. A German couple with two young children. Now he would like the Southwest corner of the road so could I go Via Albert bridge. The moment I had been dreading That Dodgy 6'6" on Albert bridge. I got through pretty easily. But as Carlos says. I haven't really done it yet because I approached it head on. And not turning left onto it from the embankment.

Anyway after returning back north of the river. Via Chelsea bridge I hasten to add. I trapped the first of two North Finchley's for tonight. The latter one from Tooley street at the end of my shift To take me home. And Whilst in Finchley Central I got a Four hander to Edgware, To take me even Closer to Home. A Stark contrast from the start of my shift.

Anyway back to the cab. I was driving along Kings road tonight with four passengers on Board. And the Buzzer for the rear steer came on plus a red light. I had to pull over press the button Then put it into reverse. To make the light go out. Before continuing on my way. Great Eh. No doubt when I'm on the phone tomorrow to Kpm I will get the Pat Answer. As I did the other day. I rang to enquire as to why the Rear steering light kept flashing intermittently. I was told that "This is the first time we've come across this problem". To which I replied that's what I was told with the last steering problem I had. "Well run it in and we will take a look." Now I'm beginning to wonder am I going to be spending the rest of my days Running it in, To have a look. Well here's the Million Dollar Question. Are what they telling me true am I the only one experiencing this problem...?

Anyway as I said before. I will continue to post my experiences. Whether they be Good Bad or Indifferent
Until next time.

Vito Week Two, Day One

2009-04-09T02:44:00.006+01:00

Iv managed to clock up 750miles in my first week. And have also discovered a real Bugbear.
You've guessed it with the doors. Well its not the doors really its the public. They insist on trying to pull them open and push them shut. Its winding me up no end. I even had some old posh tart last night. That had more wrinkles than an Elephants scrotum. And must of had three shredded wheat for breakfast. Yanking away trying her best to pull the damn thing off its hinges. she didn't look like she had a yank in her.

Work was a whole lot better tonight. But it helps I suppose if your behind the wheel. And not sat in some Cosy cinema somewhere stuffing your face with popcorn. I even got a radio job home. God knows they have become as Scarce as rocking horse shit.

Anyway a pretty uneventful evening. Growing accustomed to my new office. Iv never heard "Its so big" so many times in my life. I suppose like many other things in my life. Over time it will become like egg and chips. And it wont even get a mention.

So until next time "Let's be careful out there" Ciao Bella.

Vito Day Seven

2009-04-08T03:32:00.003+01:00

Well its safe to say that. There are quite a few out there. That don't recognise The Vito as a Licensed London black cab. For the second day running Iv been sat on point at the Dorchester. Only to watch someone come out look my way then walk to Park lane to flag a cab. This time I blew my horn and flashed my lights. And the two Women looking for a Cab came back. After pulling away with them on board. I enquired did they not recognise me as a cab. To which one of them replied. "My friend said you were a Cab we just wasn't sure. Also earlier on in my shift. I watched a woman walk right past me in Oxford st and jump into the cab behind.

If i said it was slow at work tonight I would have been lying. Stationary more like.
So Carlos and I decided to rank up in Saint James's Square. And go to the cinema in lower Regent street. To see The Damned Utd. A Story about Brian Clough's brief spell as manager of Leeds United football club in 1974. Carlos being a Leeds fan & me looking for any excuse to skive off work. £13 a head to get in. We practically had the cinema to ourselves. Armed with Big boxes of popcorn And Diet coke. We settled down in very comfortable seats to watch a very enjoyable film in my opinion.

We left the cinema at 10.30 just in time for the rush. Ha Ha. I forgot to mention that when we parked up. We got chatting to another Cabbie with a Vito. & asked him if he had any trouble with the rear steer. He said he hadn't. But knew someone who had. I mentioned to him how amazed I was at the size of the fuel tank. And he said he had filled his up costing him £92. But he had got four shifts out of that. He also said he would never go back to a Regular cab now. And he also reassured me it took him a couple of weeks to get used to it. And he did wonder in that time had he made the right move.

All in All after working this cab for a week now. I would have to give it the thumbs up so far. Even with the problems Iv had with the steering. The comfort alone is a vast improvement. Well one punter Chucking up in the back might change all that. Anyway Onwards & Upwards.
Until next time B'Lucky Be safe & keep the doors Locked. Thats if you can open them in the first place.LoL.

Vito Day Six

2009-04-07T12:15:00.004+01:00

Day Six brings me up to Date. After tonight's shift I will give my verdict so far of working the new Vito Within the Metropolis.
Well last night was pretty uneventful also just a few things of note. Like I was sitting on point at the Dorchester. When I noticed a guy come out of the hotel look my way then proceed to walk out into Park lane and flag a cab down. It has to be said it was dark & the Taxi roof light on one of these things is unmissable. Make your own conclusions.

The other two things of note are. I was ranked up on the South kensington rank when a girl approached me on my side and asked for the Collection in Brompton rd. So I opened the door for her she then walked around the other side. so I closed that door and opened the other. After getting in I closed the door but the rear light never went out & the Buzzer was still sounding to let me know the door wasn't closed. I opened and closed the door again much to her bemusement but nothing changed. So I decided the collection was only around the corner Id drop her off then sort it. Driving down the road with the rear light on and this buzzer sounding in my ear.

After dropping her off I pulled up the road and got out.I tried opening and closing the door from the outside but No difference. Totally pissed off I thought that was going to be the end of my nights work. When the thought came to me to try the offside door. I cant tell you how happy I was when it had the desired affect.

The other Moment of note was when I picked up this young couple in Great Portland st. Who were going to Hampstead. Pulling away I could hear the guy saying something to me, so I put the intercom on only to hear "are you going to close the door". Then I realised Id done it again, pressed the window button instead of the door. Even though the Buzzer was sounding I failed to pick up on it. I have to say I think these problems are my failings not the cabs.
I really do most things in Autopilot and am sure not before too long I'll be doing it Blindfolded.
I really am a creature of habit. Anyway until next time B'lucky.

Vito Day Five

2009-04-07T11:55:00.003+01:00

Well day Five finds me with a day off. Grandsons give the cab the big thumbs up. They especially love opening and closing the doors. Which after time can become quite annoying. Which incidentally reminds me of a real plus with this cab. Punters not being able to open the doors up into oncoming traffic.
My daughter has twins and a double buggy which are easily loaded straight in. You could hold a party in the back of one of these things, they are that big. That being said there isn't a whole lot of headroom because they are very high off the ground. Anybody that has loaded a wheelchair passenger into the back of a regular cab knows there isn't a lot of headroom for the passenger in the wheelchair, well there is even less in this.

Vito Day Four

2009-04-07T10:31:00.007+01:00

I am having to write from notes that I made to bring you up to speed with where I am now.

Day Four was pretty uneventful until I picked up these three Girls from Buckingham gate. They wanted to go to Highgate via Victoria. On arrival at Victoria two got out leaving one more to go to Highgate. She said she would need a cashpoint on the way. Iv been done before by cameras for parking on red routes so I decided to stop at the H.S.B.C in Curzon st. The conversation on the way very quickly turned to the cab. She told me she worked for tfl and that I had made a sound investment what with the cab being six-seater an all & the fast approaching Olympics. The usual patter of someone that has had too much to drink. What she wasn't aware of was my anxiety as to whether she might be sick or not. Women are notorious for getting sick and saying nothing.

I forgot to mention that after her pals got out she wanted to know how much the fare would be.
When we got to the Hsbc it had £9.40 on the meter. So I told her it would be somewhere around £35. she'd better be safe and get forty out. "Forty pound to Highgate" she says. I then tried to explain God only knows why. That if you start making diversions to station's and cashpoints it has an overall affect on the meter, What with the recent tariff increase. I ain't Harry Houdini and I certainly am not being held to Ransom over some price I give some drunk as an estimate at the start of the Journey. "Its on the Meter." Anyway the atmosphere very quickly changed from nice cab to I know where I'm going Iv lived in London all my life. She couldn't see what difference stopping off here and there would make on the price. Then she started saying I wouldn't have come this way. "O yeah" says I. Then what way would you have gone madam. As Im going up Davies street heading for Marylebone lane & Wimpole st to get Marylebone rd.
"Tottenham ct rd" she says. By the time I got into Wimpole st I find myself Telling her to check on a map when she gets home.
WHY do I take the bait every time Arghh. Anyway by now She's telling me shes frightened. So I said "would you like me to pull over" Ok she says. So after she payed me the £15.60 on the meter I told her that she actually frightened me and that the real problem here was that she had too much to drink. To which she replied "I knew you'd say that"
Anyway i was Glad to see the back of her. I think cabs should carry Doggie bags like Aircraft For these lowlives.

Vito Day Three

2009-04-07T02:03:00.003+01:00

Day Three took me back to Kpm. I spent three hours there waiting for the rear wheel steering problem to be righted, So I took a stroll over to have a chat with the sales Director at Kpm to voice my concerns. I told him I was afraid this might be a taste of things to come. He again assured me that my cab was the first to have this problem. Carlos's Voice ringing in my ears "It could only happen to you" Hence (Titanic). I think if he offered me a Tx4 right at that moment in Exchange. I cant say I wouldn't have taken him up on it. He said to me you are going to have to get used to working in a completely different way to the one you've become accustomed to. Which on reflection I have to Agree.

Anyway I had some Banking to do, so I killed some time off By walking up to Bethnal Green Road. On return The Mechanic that had come out to me two Days ago called my name & dangled the keys in my face. Saying That it had a faulty component that had been replaced & tested repeatedly. To be honest I just wanted to get out of there. So I thanked him and went about my day.

One thing I have become aware of that I shouldn't really be surprised about. Is that Joe Public are as totally conditioned with the use of cabs the same as I am. Because Quite often when I pull up after being hailed. They think they have to pull the door open. So end up Yanking the door to open it. Then repeating the exercise once inside to close it. With me Yelling its Automatic don't pull it. I have to confess It really Bug's me. So far Three people have actually asked me is it more expensive to ride in this cab. In general the feedback I get from the public is that they love it.

Little by Little I'm discovering things that have the potential to piss me off. Like the Handbrake.
Except it doesn't have One Well not in so many words. The Handbrake is actually a foot brake. And is applied with the left foot almost like a clutch on a ratchet. Coupled as i said before with no spare tyre. Its almost as though the designers had an afterthought. Shit we forgot the Handbrake and the spare wheel. Another is The fact that there are only two windows in the rear that open outwards Slightly. I do really think they could have put more effort into the Importance of this to the Cabbie. They must think we spend our days driving around suits.
The other thing that could potentially be a problem to some people are the dimensions. I'm led to believe its six inches Wider than a tx4 & Sixteen inches longer. I found myself Subconsciously avoiding 6'6" Width restrictions for the fear of scraping it down some post. I have since passed through a few with no problems whatever. Service Schedules are a minimum of 18,000 miles and up to 24,000 depending on the way it is driven. (Every 9000 in my Tx2).The engine management system lets you know when a service is due. The other big advantage is the fuel economy its definitely better than my old tx2. I will have to fill up the tank and Check the comparison from my old cab. Overall I think its growing on me as I get used to the different functions, Like the front & rear parking Sensors that incidentally can be turned On or off.
I will continue to post my experiences of the Vito, So watch this space & B' Lucky.

Vito Day Two

2009-04-06T11:41:00.003+01:00

Well day two wasn't, It didn't happen I felt drained and decided what with all the demonstrations going on in the city,
I didn't fancy circumnavigating my way around all that to get to Kpm,
So i rang them and said i would be attending the following day.
After 14 years of driving a cab, A brand new one sitting on the drive isn't enough incentive to get me out the door, Having to pay for it usually is,

But later that night i decided to Christen it, so its around to the Filling station to fuel up for the shift.
Right this is an experience on its own, To Fuel one of these things you have to open the nearside front door to gain access to the Flap & untwist the fuel cap which is situated down by the the doorstep Quite low, Not a problem for me being a Short arse,
Don't know how some Six footer might get on,
Anyway I think its a new cab it deserves to be full up, £40 later I ain't get the usual signs that the tank is nearing its limit so I decided that was enough,
Screw the cap back on close the Flap then you can close the front door.
After paying for my fuel Checking my fuel Gauge noticed it was just over half full, Approaching 3/4.
It must be a massive fuel tank which I quite like, Not having to refuel so often and also having enough fuel to return from those Elusive Roader's,

Now I use the M1 Motorway to get into work and I have to tell you it was a delight to drive, Smooth, Powerful, No problem overtaking,
I drove all the way into Paddington to pick up my first fare
A young lady approached my cab on the point of the rank, Here Goes I press the button to open the door for her & Nothing my window goes down, Getting even more flustered and Paranoid about holding the rank up, I jump out & Run around the cab Feeling like a Butterboy,
I Pulled the door handle from the outside & Prayed, allacazam the door opens I usher her in, Load her Ton weight suitcase into the back & speed off.

The punter A young French lass wanting to go to South Kensington Oblivious to my predicament,
& the fact that I had this wonderful new cab, went right over her head,
Driving through the park I had time to reflect on what had gone wrong,
Then I realised after years of working nights and controlling the door locks from switches on the drivers doors,
Which incidentally operated the windows in my new cab,

I had a chuckle and tried to concentrate on the Position of the doors switches which really couldn't be more straight forward they are located right in front of me with a Little picture of the door on the switches, the Left switch for the left door & the right switch for the right door Der,
Anyway we arrive at the Holiday Inn Forum in South Ken.
I pull up select Park Press the Left door switch and again Nothing, What now Thinks I,
So Getting Flustered I started pressing Buttons Galore, The windows coming down Again,
Then I Gain A moment of Sanity in all the Confusion And press the correct button once more It Opens I'm beside myself with Delight, It felt like more of an achievement than passing the Knowledge itself.

The rest of the Shift went more or less the same way,
What I did realise that to open the doors there is a slight delay,
once you pull up if you listen carefuly you can hear a click.
Then you can open the Doors Safely.

Time's are a changing. Vito Day One

2009-04-05T19:24:00.004+01:00

I decided recently to take the plunge & buy a new cab, What with VAT at 15% my road tax needing renewal, & overhaul imminent,
As i had a tx11 with a 120,000 on the clock the timing chain would have to be done soon, there was also an oil leak coming from the rear end main oil seal which would have meant the gearbox coming out, Untold electrical problems,
I decided to trade it in while it still held some value a 2004 tx11
Until recently i would have had the choice of one taxi to choose from,
that was until the new Vito by Merecedes came onto the Market,
When i looked at the tx4 with recent fire problems, Radiators bursting at £500 pound a go, and not really much different from the cab i was already driving,
I started to make enquiries from drivers already with the Vito, I have heard plenty Pro & con, Pro mostly from the driver's who already have them & con from those that don't,

So i have decided to give my Experiences of driving & working the new Mercedes Vito,
I will try to stick to the facts, & share with you the comments i get from the punter also,
so here Goes.

Vito Day One

Picked up my new Vito from Kpm in Hackney,
I have to tell as i was being shown around it i was shocked to find out that for one thing, it doesn't carry a spare tyre, it has one of those Tyre seal canister's that inflates the tyre,
My first impression was how big it was, Secondly the amount of different switches to get used to in the drivers compartment, the salesman was doing his best to explain those to me & their function,
I work nights & by this time i was totally Knackered & taking nothing in.

I had promised Carlos i would pop into his place on the way home
Driving away from the showroom i was beginning to wonder had i done the right thing,
it felt very strange and i feared it wouldn't be practical to work the streets on a nightly basis year in year out, Because that was what it was going to be,
anyway on Arrival at Carl's place, Carlos and his son Michael gave it the once over,
I decided i was going to Christen it and do a job before going home, so to turn around i would demonstrate the rear wheel steering,
Which to operate you have to be Going 5mph or less & then press a button on the dash, A buzzer goes off and a light illuminates to let you know its operating, It felt very strange turning around, Anyway i waved fond farewell to Carl & Michael, & Zoomed up the road, it wasn't long before i realised all was not well,
Especially when a dustcart behind me was flashing his lights and waving frantically at me, looking in the mirror i could see that the offside wheel hadn't gone back into place,
so i pulled over and rang kpm Who assured me i was the first person this had happened to Hmm,
& said they would come out to rectify the problem immediately,
Then i rang Carl who came out to give some moral support to a fading pal losing the will to live.
Ever the hero he turned up & supplied the Coffee's from Starbucks.
I managed to limp around onto the taxi rank in Elgin ave,
It wasn't long before Kpm turned up in a 4x4 Porsche, Managing director with a mechanic in tow,
He took out a big battery from the rear of the Porsche And disconnected a couple of wires from the offending wheel,
& placed them on the battery & hey Presto the wheel went back into line,
He then disconnected the rear steer system and assured me it would be okay to drive
until i returned it to Kpm the following day to have it rectified.

From tommorow i will try to give a blow by blow account of working this cab, I will have no influences either way, So "Watch this Space."

Watch this space

2009-04-04T02:30:00.002+01:00

Iv decided to give this blogging business another shot,
After being pushed by my mate Carlos, AKA londoncabby
Cant let him have all the attention now can I, so much has happened over the past year,
I cant believe its been that long,
Anyway as i said "Watch this space."

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

2007-12-14T02:58:00.000Z

The Zombies were out in force tonight,
Work wise a very busy night as would be expected for this time of year
a pretty uneventful night until knocking off time
When my time came to go home i decided to look for a job on the radio to take me home,
the terminal flashed up Hippodrome Leicester square to pinner
I'll have some of that i thought, it was booked for 1am experience has taught me they never come out on time,
I had to wait on the cranbourne st taxi rank with a name board for my man, i endured 40minutes of No joke Zombies, coming up to the window slurring all sorts of destinations, & insults when i said i was booked,
But the Oscar for the Zombie of the night, had to go to this Blond bird that came up to me dressed as a banana with her bloke dressed as an apple, Slurring are you going Hic West HIC Burp PLAZE, No sorry love im booked, to which she replied well if he don't turn up can we take you, But he will says i, But if he don't says she, i said he definitely will its an account job, Screaming at the top of her voice she say's "nothings flucking definite"
One thing is i said ,Banana replies whats that "You fucking definitely ain't getting in this cab, I nearly pissed myself when she started saying your a prick
Have you looked in the mirror lately i said & im a prick
Anyway the Apple pulled the Banana away
& i eventually got my job home to Harrow
So there you have it Until the next time Good Health to all

Joy's of being a cabbie

2007-12-13T03:02:00.000Z

Still working nights, tonight wednesday was a lot busier than the earlier part of the week, thought to myself i'd get out there and get stuck in, got off to a good start, got a good run of jobs going one in one out,
eventualy i got flagged down in seven dials by a woman wanting to go to Bermondsey street s.e.1 via a cash point machine,
I was chatting to a cabbie friend on my hands free, when all of a sudden i became aware of an unusual noise coming from the back of the cab,
I hung up and switched the intercom on and asked the punter in the back if she could hear anything to which she replied i can hear a knocking noise, i thought id hang it out until i got to the cash point in cannon street, on arrival i got out and examined the rear of the cab when i noticed the nearside rear Tyre was deflating rapidly
Punter back on board i limped accross London bridge, eventualy arriving in leathermarket street by Bermondsey street, with by now a completley flat tyre,
feeling somewhat deflated myself by my misfortune i decided not to hang about,
and to get stuck in and get the spare on Rapido,
Hub cap off i put the wheel brace on the first nut and stood on the bar, it undone no probs, number two no such luck the brace was bending,I rang Carlos AkA (londoncabby)to see if he was out and about, He was still indoors in his home in northwest London and said he would make his way over with his "pucker steel bar and socket", In the mean time i rang the AA to see if there might be a patrol nearby,
after 10minutes of being held in a Que, i was told i could wait up to two hours so i told them not to bother,
In no time at all Carlos turned up and between us we had the spare on double quick time, What a pal,I owe you Carl Thankyou,
But on a lighter note (excuse the pun) iv lost 10 pounds in weight over the last two weeks Great i'm really proud of myself iv totaly cut out carbohydrates eating more fruit and veg than at any other time in my life, going to the gym, have so much more energy feel less tired and much happier in general,
Until next time health and happiness to all, Chris

Ringing the Changes

2007-12-01T03:40:00.000Z

Two day's ago i decided Enough was Enough
Especially after recent health scares
six years ago i quit drinking, one year later knocked the smoking on the head
now i feel the time is right to shed a few pounds
56 to be precise that's roughly what i need to lose to achieve my ideal weight
being a cabbie as you start to get older can have its pitfalls as the metabolism slows down & if your not careful on comes the middle age spread
So two day's ago
I joined a weight loss clinic with my daughter
who recently had beautiful twins and has understandably put on a few pounds herself.

On the work front iv been pretty fortunate this week
Twice this week towards the end of my shift i got a job to Gatwick
living just outside Watford, straight around the M25 I'm home within the hour
Christmas is just around the corner
Its December already & time to make hay while the sun shines as they say
Once Christmas is here the arse fall's out of it
Until the January Sales
January the Taxman wants his first slice of the pie
February brings my annual trip to Thailand with the wife
March is spent trying to prepare for April's annual cab overhaul
So no time for day's off, seven day's a week from now until the run up to
Christmas,
Anyway Whatever happened to living one day at a time
I sometimes drive myself crazy fretting about thing's
that very rarely materialize
So on that note Just for Today
Nite Nite

Whatever happened to the Chiswick bus skidpan training centre

2007-11-21T02:15:00.000Z

Slowly getting back in the swing of thing's,
Saturday night around Zoo time (chucking out time for the Animal's) I'm travelling east to old street roundabout, along oxford street on my way to pick up an account customer, that's going my way home,

There is this what i can only describe as a beat up old wreck that wouldn't look out of place at a banger racing event,
He's holding me up Kerb crawling
a thoroughbred Scab (tout illegally plying for hire)He hasn't even got the yellow disc, Not surprising by the state of the car, Shouting out his window asking the many punters where they want to go,
Ignoring by now, my Blazing headlights on full beam, and my blaring horn, Eventually i manage to pass screaming out the window you F_ _ing Tosser, "That told him he couldn't answer that one"

Finally i arrive at old street roundabout Doors locked and meter on,
I'm greeted by more Zombies of the night, "herro Clan you Hiccup tlake mle To Watford Hiccup, I'm booked Say's I,
With that this scab pulls up behind with the yellow disc this time, and starts to negotiate a price to watford,
I get out and proceed to write down his number, seeing me do this he pulls up right next to me almost hitting me, he rolls down his window and say's in broken English what are you taking my number for,
calmly i reply oh its ok mate im just reporting you to the public carriage office for illegally plying for hire, Is it your job he Say's yelling at the top of his voice, calmly i reply "118 118 I got your number" Not looking so happy he screams fuck off and disappeared into the night,

Tonight Tuesday I'm driving along regents park road, with two punters in the back, when all of a sudden I'm met with a hand out some guy dressed in a big long black coat and big black hat looking like the sandeman,
standing alongside a double deck bus, so I pulled up rolled down my offside window,Sandeman says can you tell us meaning the bus driver and he, how to get to saint john's wood road,
Iv already got a fare on and besides i can only take five there must be 30 people on there,
Now that just about takes the biscuit,
I told them they had passed the place they should have turned left, "you'd better turn around Say's I" Oh your no good he says,

It made me think of the day's when I was on the buses Carlos and I (aka londoncabby)were at the same bus garage, and did our training at the world famous chiswick training centre,
Spinning the old routemaster around on the famous skidpan, not for the fainthearted, I really couldn't imagine the frightened little girl driving this bus Doing it, and believe me that's no exaggeration that's what she was,Her passengers looked a little concerned too
and with good reason,
Anyway I'd like to thank paradise driver, Tel,& my anonymous friend in Australia, funny enough we used to call him the bus, for you're kind comments, and good wishes concerning my health,
Good health to all,& Bye for now & be careful out there

Back from the dead

2007-11-14T10:38:00.000Z

Its been a long time since my last post, for three weeks of it i was Horizontal, came down with some sort of virus after untold blood tests, losing a stone in weight,(which i could ill afford to lose Ha HA) sweating profusely, especially in the night, breaking out in a rash, shivering, convinced i was on my way out,
All the tests came back negative, and Quick as it came it just passed, Not ever finding out what it was that was wrong with me for sure,
It is at this stage i feel everyone should be warned by a mistake i made, which although foolish, could have been fatal,
I was taking lem-sip plus along with two Paracetamol, for some days not realising Lem-sip contains an equivalent of two paracetamols, so i was taking double the dosage it only came to light whilst i was on the phone to NHS Direct seeking advice, they Questioned me about what i was taking, i had to go to A&E immediately for blood tests which came back showing a high liver count, i had started to damage my liver, a later blood test showed the same results, it is my opinion that, I probably had the Flu, and the symptoms i was experiencing was a result of the damage i was causing to my liver,
well I'm now back at work, trying to play catch up, I'm off to Thailand for the whole of February with the wife, we go out there mostly every year, but three weeks of no work has put a big dent in the finances especially with Christmas fast approaching, I'm just Gonna have to Nuckle down and get stuck in
Anyway i wish you all Health and Happiness

Tube strike, Goes West

2007-09-05T13:12:00.000+01:00

Started work last night about 8.30pm, Thinking it would be Buzzing because of the tube strike, practically everyone that got in said you must be very busy tonight,I say "did you wait long for a cab" - "No actually it was very easy got one straight away" I leave it at that Thinking if it was F--king busy you wouldn't get a F__king cab would you, you F--king twat,
Anyway getting used to the switch to nights now, the body clock is slowly coming round,
I had one of those nights last night where everyone seemed to want to go to the West side of London,
Firstly i had two women flag me down in Brook st Both Getting into the cab Whilst holding Telephone conversations on their respective Mobile Phones, they get straight into the cab without saying anything, I have to admit that is one thing that gets my Goat up,Then they try to let me know their destinations by lipping the words via my rear view mirror, even if i understand the destination i Crack on i didn't understand and continue doing so, until they Do something like this, the phone goes down to the shoulder "Hold on a Minute Darling" Sorry we would like to go to Askew rd and then onto Acton" Then its straight back to the call, i get on with it feeling i have just won some small victory for Cabby's,
Anyway after dropping off in Acton i came straight back down the A40 back into town Via the Marylebone rd turning right into Marylebone high st, I trapped straight away a women gets in asking for WAIT FOR IT "Askew rd" so its back off to Askew rd Shepherds Bush, i came back the same way, this time turning right into Baker st Then i got flagged down by four Asian Guy's asking for what sounded like Candle st I'm Repeating "Candle st" whilst trying to decipher what it was "Yes Say's he Candle st" Then it came to me Oh you mean Kendal st "Yes" Say's he "Candle st", i had a good laugh and went on my merry way, Arriving into Kendal st i asked whereabouts "Bombay Palace" Say's he, Well i knew that was around the corner in Connaught st, so i just drove around to the Restaurant, they get out and come up to the window "HOW MUCH"- "Six Pound's" they then proceed to count out all their joint Shrapnel and in what seemed like an infuriating eternity, they counted out £6,the meter went up 60pence it took them that long,I DO NOT CHARGE THE SIXTY PENCE, officially we are supposed to stop the clock when we pull up, but experience has taught me it just doesn't work because what happens is they give you a destination, on arrival they say pull up over there, you pull up stop the clock and only one gets out, and the other one Say's right id like to go to Wherever,

Anyway i turn the cab around, when the thought comes into my mind the Mercury music awards are on in the Grosvenor House Hotel, so i head for Park Lane,

Approaching the hotel I'm flagged down, Another one straight into the back Yapping on his phone, but he drop's the phone to the shoulder "Ealing" So its back out West again, I knocked it on the head about 2am, Iv just heard the tube strike has been suspended so hopefully all will be back to normal tonight

Thankyou Chelsea and Westminster Hospital

2007-09-02T23:14:00.000+01:00

My second Youngest Grandson Joshua, was rushed into Northwick Park Hospital on Friday night complaining of stomach pains, He's four God love him, It was then decided by the Doctors to transfer him to Chelsea and Westminster,
Thank god they did, a much better, Cleaner more modern, better equipped Hospital,
Acute Appendicitis was diagnosed, and tonight about 22:00 they operated on him to remove his Appendix, He's now in recovery and doing well, Its at times like this you really appreciate what a wonderful Underpayed Under-appreciated, Job our Doctor's and Nurses do Thank you All,

As i haven't been to work today for obvious reasons, I thought i might share with you a past Experience, as i was reminded by Carlos, last night AKA Londoncabby,
This was the last time i was working nights, I picked up this guy in Kensington Who asked for Romford, as i approached Knightsbridge i noticed he was Talking quite loudly on his mobile phone, to my amazement Whilst Snorting Cocaine, I told him to leave it out, and he stopped momentarily, as i went through Piccadilly underpass Heading East, He started again, So i decided enough was enough, Flying through the tunnel i pulled up Quite sharply outside the Athenaeum Hotel in Piccadilly,

and i told him to get out to which he started Shouting even louder down his mobile phone "The Fucking Cabby is Kicking me out for sniffing" i said "Forget whats on the meter just get out" fearing what might lay ahead in Romford i decided to go with my intuition, He got out leaving the door open, when he was about fifty Yards away i got out to close the door, Seeing me, he came Charging at me shouting "Do you Fucking Want Some"
More out of luck and Instinct i planted One right on his Kisser, I hit the Button Marked Goodnight, Believe me it was Luck, Quickly Grabbing him by both Shoulders, to stop him getting up, i couldn't believe what happened next, Both Black cab's & to my amazement Minicabs pulled over, to see if i needed any assistance, I shouted out call the Old Bill, And it was at that point i felt a Shearing pain OOZING up my arm, He had sunk his teeth into my arm,

Again i reacted Quickly and let go of the Wanker, he got up and legged it into Green park Tube never to be seen again

P.S IF YOU RECOGNIZE THE TEETH PATTERN WHEN YOU ENLARGE PHOTO PLEASE INFORM YOU NEAREST POLICE STATION OR DENTIST

SEDUCE MY ANTIQUATED FOOTWEAR

2007-09-02T00:47:00.001+01:00

Saturday night started off as expected, First job Finchley road to Heddon street lovely straight into the middle, drop off there and its round onto the Hilton, Doorman call's me over,

Golden Hinde please Driver, is that the Chippie in Marylebone lane Say's me, No Say's the punter its a Ship in Clink st s.e.1, ok off i go, I'd better Give Mr Knowledge a ring AKA Londoncabby, to make sure I know whereabouts the drop off is, To my amazement He dropped it, didn't know, Anyway i could see it on the pda Map and decided to attack it from Bedale st, as I'm going along Southwark st, Police car's and Van's are Zooming by me Siren's Whaling, Thinking nothing more of it i turn into Bedale st, and am met by No Joke Fifty policemen, Met Police, British Transport Police, Plain Clothed Police, and it was then i noticed the road was covered in Broken Glass, Police Vehicles Blocked my path, so the passengers Got out and walked, i was payed off and decided I'd better turn around and high tail it out of there, This time my path was blocked by some Guy sweeping up the Glass, Curiosity got the better of me so i stuck my head out the window, and asked what had happened, This is how he told it, "Millwall came down here and grabbed hold of everything that wasn't bolted down Glasses Bottles, and anything else to hand, and started to launch them at Huddersfield, Spoiling a perfectly Good Saturday, " Off goes the Hire light, Zooming past Panic stricken faces everywhere with their hands out, Driving past London bridge station, i could see a Right old Cafufull going on in there,

Across London Bridge to Safety and left into Cannon St, I'm flagged down by a Couple off out for the night that want to go to St John st, Thank God for that i think away from all the trouble, anyway after dropping them off i headed along Clerkenwell rd back into Town, I Trapped a fare By Clerkenwell Green, Three old boy's "We've been waiting Fifteen minutes for a cab What's going on Anyway You're here now can you take us to London Bridge stn, You couldn't make it up if i saw something like that on Eastenders I'd say "How Corny" Its at this point i ask the Three old Boy's if they are Millwall Football Hooligans, I told them what had been going on, Partly hoping they might change their mind's, They gave me their assurances they were past Punch ups, One old Boy pipe's up i used to play for Urinal's UTD, i couldn't help myself so i said, "I bet you didnt kick up a stink when you lost Though" And it went straight past them,

Happily by the time i got back to London Bridge all was Quite on the Western Front,, As there was A Que for Cab's, i Got a fare up to New North Rd In Highbury .

The rest of my evening was pretty uneventful by Saturday's standards and at Midnight i got a job up to Hampstead and decided to call it a night, to Quit while ahead.

COCK"A" DOODLE DOO

2007-09-01T14:40:00.000+01:00

My life is complete COCK"A" DOODLE DOO

Since deciding to go back on nights iv realised what iv been missing,

Far less traffic and to top all that Spurs are Gonna win the league

Ever the ultimate optimist
every night so far iv had a nice long job that's payed well
Wednesday night after dropping off in Hackney,
i spun around and these four guys flagged me down

(NEWS FLASH as i write this Spurs have just gone one up at Fulham)

anyway they wanted to go to Croydon, i had trouble seeing a line, so rang old reliable
Mr Knowledge himself Carlos AKA londoncabby
who assured me the best way was down to the elephant and as he Say's then "STRAIGHT UP THE MIDDLE BOY" anyway eventually i arrived on the outskirts of Croydon i asked what way to go, and they didn't seem sure Being a little worse for wear, after a night on the Piss, They said do you know such and such road, i said you gotta be joking, so on went the old Satnav VITAL PIECE OF HARDWARE for jobs such as these, first postcode tapped in i was flying now Satnav pops up turn left ,i turn left "Where the fuck are you going" Satnav said turn left Say's i, "I don't give a fuck what that Say's" said he "its fucking right do a U-turn", I remain calm and do a U-turn, at this point iv lost all faith in the old Satnav anyway we eventually end up in Shirley Croydon, one guy gets out Then postcode number two to Sth Croydon, Third one went to Kenley and then finally To Reigate, Earning in one Job what would take Two thirds of a day of stressful traffic jamming Grief in the daytime

NEWSFLASH Spurs have just gone two up
Things are looking UP, "COME ON YOU SPURS"

NORMAL SERVICE HAS BEEN RESUMED it ended up 3-3

Merchants

Bank holiday tip of the day

2007-08-28T02:13:00.000+01:00

The Notting Hill Carnival brought plenty of business into town tonight, both wanted and unwanted,I started my shift about 6pm, i thought i would avoid the General area of the Carnival, and drove down the finchley Road into Swiss cottage, not a hand in sight, so i put on the Marriott in King Henry's rd, and there waiting was a punter, pleased with myself i thought you just gotta know where to look, you've either got it or you ain't,"Notting Hill Carnival" Please Driver, An American Tourist, i explained to him about the road closure's and the traffic, so i ended up dropping him off at the Bishops Bridge Rd Jct with Queensway, So much for the Master plan to avoid the Carnival,
Straight away i got a fare from there to Oxford Circus which was a tickle,
After dropping off at Oxford Circus i thought I'd chance my arm on the Langham Hilton, Secretly thinking to myself i might get a fare out to the Airport, i didn't have to wait long before the Doorman called me over,
Two American Gentlemen got in and asked for the Savoy on the Strand, by the time i got there,the meter was showing exactly ten pounds, the older gentleman of the two gave me a tenner and said to wait a minute,fumbling about with a hand full of change, and then proceeded to put ten pence in my hand and said that's for you driver, the time it took him to sort that out, the meter had gone up to £10.40.
Beside myself with Glee,
I gave my Cabbie mate Carlos AKA "Londoncabby", =
a ring to have a Coffee,as we don't get to meet up so much these days as i usually work the day shift,
We met up in the Edgware rd in Costa Coffee bar, the whole area was Buzzing with revelers from the Carnival,
I needed a Pat Cash so headed straight for the Bog, Whilst Carlos ordered the Coffee's there was a Que for the toilet,but it wasn't long before the Cabaret started, these three young Girl's and i use the term Girl's very loosley,
Bowled in immediately making their presence felt intimidating everyone in sight, Stoned out of their Tiny Box's,throwing things at each other, one of them was lying on the floor with a big grin on her face with her eye's rolled back,
When all of a sudden this smartly dressed Bloke in a suit takes exception to their presence and Say's to the guy behind the counter "why do you let pieces of shit like that in here, one of the Babes in a shell suit, hears it and gives him a mouthful, The suit ain't having none of it and forcefully ejects the Two on their feet straight out the door, I chirped up with "GO ON MY SON" then he comes back for the lump on the floor she had what i can only describe as a free flying lesson and smashed against the door frame as she flew out the door,
Their pride in tatters and everyone laughing at them, they proceeded to throw a cup of coffee at the suit before breaking the land speed record for losers, leaving the scene of a crime.
All in all the evening passed off pretty peacefully and was pretty lucrative

I have really heard it all now

2007-08-26T01:57:00.000+01:00

Just come back from another Saturday night at London Zoo,
sometimes it really feels like that out there, picking your way through best way you can, avoiding people throwing up, wanting to fight, arguing about the amount on the meter,the route you took, driving too slow, driving too fast,"What DYA Mean you've never erd of it i fawt you lot werr supost ta naw evryfing" Including Einstein's Theory of General Relativity, As iv said before The Knowledge not to be confused with Knowledge,
Anyway my Gripe for Saturday night, all night long i kept getting jobs up North of London, that's OK but i live in North London, when i want to go home, Where are all these people that live North of this wonderful city, everyone wants to go south, Sods Law nothing to do with Einstein's,
Anyway i get all the way back into Covent Garden for the fifth time, & this sweet lady flags me down and asks for Crouch end, OK Say's i, "I'm just wainting for my friends" Say's she as she makes herself comfortable in the back leaving the door open, then appears her four friends three of which are carrying the fourth,So off i go again, on reaching Crouch end she Say's pull over here driver,, some of us want to get out.
Three get out,leaving the comatosed guy and his friend in the back, who want to go around the corner "Good luck with Tom" Say's she, anyway we get around the corner he pays me off and tries to drag Tom out of the cab, Poor old Tom fall's flat on his face on the ground, and his pal actually started to drag him down the road by his arm.
I floored it to get away as quick as i could, Its at this point iv decided to throw the towel in, Iv run short of small change also, adding to my Woes,

On the way back as I'm sat a set of Traffic lights, This South African Guy who's Obviously had a good drink but looks OK Say's could i take him to Dollis Hill, its right on my way so i agree, He's Chatting on his Mobile phone most of the way and as we neared the destination i could not believe my ears at what he said next,"Have these cab's got modified suspension" Wondering where this conversation is going IE complaint or maybe a compliment,I say "No standard Suspension" Then he Say's "Iv heard that the meter is connected to the suspension and every time you go over a bump the meter goes up" I Roar with laughter and say "WHAT are you serious" i assured him the meter would go up anyway it doesn't require help from bumps NUTTER, i really have heard it all now.

From the Taxi trade Paper

2007-08-25T00:04:00.000+01:00

Usually not too much attention is paid to a
parked taxi especially when it is by a taxi
shelter; after all, cabs are left there regularly
by drivers stopping for something to eat. But
one cab left in Kensington Gore on Tuesday
24 July was brought to the attention of the
police and resulted in a great deal of disruption
to the area.
The cab had been parked for a number
of hours and fellow cab drivers believing that
it might have been stolen and dumped contacted
the police. In the back of the cab
there was a large blue plastic container and
a load of newspapers.
It was the blue container that caused
the police to be twitchy and they cordoned
off the area amid fears that the cab could be
packed with explosives, in another failed
bomb attack on London.
Police explosive experts called in a remote-
controlled robot to remove the windows
of the cab so the blue container could
be examined. It was eventually declared
safe, the cordon lifted and traffic gradually
returned to normal.
The blue plastic container was the kind
used to send goods overseas and had been
innocently left by the driver in the back of his
cab while he attended to other business

living up to my name

2007-08-23T20:19:00.000+01:00

I was flagged down by a woman in Park st S.e.1, ecstatic about getting a fare in such a remote location, i rolled down the window and with a big sultry smile was greeted with
I'm sorry to trouble you but do you have any jump leads" my disappointment at not being a fare, was overcome by my desire to be a Knight in shining armour for a damsel in distress,

As i never had any leads i asked her if her car was manual or automatic "manual" she replies

so i said we could have a go at trying to bump start it, "Great" says she, we got to the car and her old man is sat behind the wheel, "this kind gentleman has offered to give us a push" says she,
at this point i asked the damsel if she could drive, to which she replied yes,
but her fella had no intention of getting out to push, Damsel assures me she is very fit and strong, so both of us get our hands placed on the boot lid and start to push, we pushed it about 100yards to no avail,
so i suggested we push it back into the space it came out of,

It was at this point i noticed a traffic warden approaching my cab so i legged back over to my cab, absolutely Knackered i explained to the warden that i was helping a damsel in distress who was fluttering her eyelids at him, and he just told me to back it up off the double yellow lines so i did, and then went back to help push, we agreed to give it one last go in reverse, pushing with all my might, NOTHING dead as a dodo, Anyway i left them there to get on with it,
And for about the next two hours thought i was gonna have a coronary, Chest pains, couldn't catch my breath, i thought great i'm gonna die trying to be the BLOODY good Samaritan, but it passed over I'm glad to say.

Winston Churchill said"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. "

Then later on when i was on my way home in the rain, chatting away to my friend on my hands free, i momentarily took my eyes off the road, when i turned back the car in front was stationary and about six foot away, i slammed the brakes on and slid straight up the Arse of the car in front,

luckily no'one was hurt and there was no visual damage to either vehicle we exchanged details and i went on my way.

P.s Thank God for protected no claims Bonus

P.P.s In London there is a Minicab crowd that go by the name of Karma Kars http://www.karmakabs.com/ they drive around in these old Wolseley type cars,
with both front and rear bumpers covered in flowers, the drivers have them Hare Krishna type robes on, the insides of the car's are adorned with Hippie like trinket's They are a sight to behold.
Anyway being a Walking Talking Living Disaster, i accidentally cut one up, and to my amazement he was hanging out the window giving me the Wanker sign, Whilst Quoting a well known verse "YOU FUCKING WANKER" I must admit it did make i laugh.

A little Ditty as i start my day

2007-08-21T06:38:00.000+01:00

I got up at six this morning had my shower and am about to tuck in to my three shredded Wheat, back to my normal schedule now,
I'll remember this little Quote as i go through my day today
Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live. ~Margaret Fuller

Until later then.

The Knowledge by Jack Rosenthal

2007-08-20T23:26:00.000+01:00

The Knowledge not to be confused with Knowledge

The story charts the trials and tribulations of four men attempting to learn ‘The Knowledge’ and become London cabbies. Languid Chris (Mick Ford) is the youngest of the four and one of millions on the dole, Gordon (Michael Elphick) is a serial womanizer and has spent years working as a cowboy handyman, Ted Margolis (Jonathan Lynn) comes from a long line of cabbies and feels compelled to follow in his relatives footsteps, and lastly the elderly Walters (David Ryall), one of life’s losers nicknamed ‘Titanic’ who just wants to talk to people as an escape from his uncommunicative wife.."I Know how he feels" All four start their prospective careers by visiting the Metropolitan Police Public Carriage Office to meet their examiner, Mr. Burgess (Nigel Hawthorne), a man with a fearsome reputation and nickname of The Vampire.
Mr. Burgess explains that The Knowledge was laid down by the Hackney Carriage Act of 1843 and involves learning 468 runs within a six mile radius of Charing Cross; starting with Manor House Station to Gibson Square. Chris’ girlfriend Janet contributes to buying him a moped and initially is his driving force until she tires of the task’s intrusion into their private life. Gordon leaves behind an irate and frustrated wife (Maureen Lipman) and uses half of his time learning London’s road routes as an excuse to carry on an extra-marital affair. Margolis is the most confident of the quartet and is quickly pages ahead of his fellow Knowledge boys in memorizing the routes. Finally there is Titanic, who attempts to learn all the runs on a bicycle and farcically wobbles all around London in an effort to do so – frequently falling from his bike. At intervals they are called in to see Mr. Burgess for an appearance, which involves the learner attempting to detail one of the runs whilst Burgess endeavors to put them off with a series of diversions often involving throwing water, laughing loudly or putting Vicks nasal inhalers up his nose. Eventually, after twelve months or more, each learns whether he has failed or earned the prestigious green badge.

Gordon (Michael Elphick) is Kicked off the Knowledge while being tested by the vampire
Ted Margolis (Jonathan Lynn) passes of course with flying colours, but loses his licence the day he gets it after going on the razzle with the rest of the boys to celebrate passing, he gets done for driving under the influence
Chris (Mick Ford) and the Titanic pass also, the day the Titanic passes he leaves his wife, and tells the boys she begged him to come back, when truly it can be heard her Shouting”Piss off and don’t come back”

Saturday Night Fever

2007-08-20T13:02:00.000+01:00

I profess to be a day man but went out Saturday night, and had by my standards a pretty uneventful night

The highlight was when i picked up Matt Lucas of Little Britain fame, i dropped off a fair in Hampstead and was just about to pull away when out of the shadows appeared this figure asking was i available "yes" i reply, the guy said my friend will be down in one minute

five minutes later no show and the meter is running up all the time, now when I'm in this situation especially at night my imagination runs riot with me, i start to imagine these drink and drug fuelled louts coming out and arguing about how much is on the meter already, and after i share a few of my past stories with you, as i will from time to time, you'll see why i think that way, believe me it ain't paranoia

Anyway two minutes later i hear this voice say your cab is over there, that's when i realise its Matt Lucas, i don't know whether to act normal or to come out with my usual rendition of "I'm the only gay in the village" i got chatting to him on the way to his home, and found out he was an avid Goon er me being a spurs fan didn't seem to be a problem, football somehow seems to be a good subject for striking up a conversation between lads, but this was Matt Lucas

anyway he turned out to be a very nice Guy, he even joked about being a chef in his last job referring to the food poisoning of the Spurs football team two seasons ago, and as he got out of the cab in my best high pitched voice i gave him my best rendition of "I'm a lady" to which he replied you do it so well i could be out of a job
Anyway its 1.30pm and I'm just about to gear myself up for the forthcoming shift which i always dread I'm OK once i get out the door anyway until tonight a peace full day to all

Against my better judgement

2007-08-20T01:33:00.000+01:00

Iv been known to have a disaster or two, i think the best way to kick this Blog off is to explain a little about my Good Self.
Iv been driving a London taxi for 13 years now, On the day i passed the Knowledge i went with my Cabbie mate Carlos to go & pick up my cab from Coley Allen's east London, Against my better judgement i allowed Carlos to talk me into going out to Heathrow to pick up my first fare on the way out there i realised the tradition is to do the first fare free of charge not being superstitious i just did the job into a London hotel & i think at the time got roughly £35 and duly went straight back for some more of the same, on the way back to Heathrow on the elevated section of the M4 motorway the bonnet flew up into the air and buckled the bonnet so i ended up tying down the bonnet and limping back to the garage i prayed this wasn't a taste of things to come, i thought when i got to the garage they would give me another cab they just simply took another bonnet that had just come out of the spray booth and fitted it to mine.
Like the fool i am and being keen i went back out there for some more, by the way when you get a job out there it means Heathrow
The feeder park for taxis at Heathrow in them days had a feeder rank into the main rank this was aptly named the Banjo Cos of its shape, you could Que for some time here edging forward a few feet at a time, it was a roasting hot day I'll never forget as i edged forward i thought i was hallucinating as the paint on the bonnet started to slide off the bonnet and show the primer underneath, obviously the paint hadn't dried properly and the heat of the sun coupled with the movement was too much for the paintwork, it didn't exactly inspire me with confidence for the future
I used to just think i was just unlucky but even in my first week of being a butter boy Some lunatic overshot a junction ploughed into the side of my cab a coley Allen special, very nearly sending me through a shop window i got carted off to hospital in a neck brace strapped to a spinal board
"IT could only happen to you" Carlos would say
Anyway as i get used to Blogging i will fill you in with some-more disasters.
Anyway Goodnight for now Don't all rush at once to post a comment
Titanic signing off